


The Trouble with Dumbledores

by kat_scarlett



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blaise Zambini is a girl 'verse, Gen, Less of a relationship, Pre-Relationship, and more just not hating each other, everyone lives au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2015-11-10
Packaged: 2018-04-30 21:45:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5180864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kat_scarlett/pseuds/kat_scarlett
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of the First Annual Hogwarts Halloween Party.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Trouble with Dumbledores

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> Thank you to Marchingjaybird for letting me step in to pinchhit on this. I hope she doesn't regret it.
> 
> Apologies to QueensOfHell; I'm sure this isn't the story you were hoping for, but I hope it makes you smile a little nonetheless!

Hermione arrived at Hogwarts in her Sixth Year to discover that not only was she a Prefect, but that Headmaster Dumbledore had declared that it would be an official year for the appreciation and discovery of Muggle Culture, and wouldn’t Miss Granger love to be a leader for all muggle-born students?

And while, _yes_ , obviously, she did resent the assumption somewhat. It did come with some significant perks however, as she was able to successfully set up the first large scale Internet network in Wizarding Britain. It had been especially gratifying to watch Snape’s dumb smug face get all scrunched up in consternation and confusion as she explained how she was using the inherent magical leylines beneath Hogwarts to actually support and boost their internet connection from 256kbs to a very satisfactory 512kbs and allow for many students to be online simultaneously without requiring multiple phone lines. 

She’d naturally written a paper on the matter and was considering sending it off to the Lovelace University for Thaumatological Technology for early admission. Of course she was also currently considering jumping out of the window because literally anything could be better than sitting in this meeting with the Headmaster and Professor McGonagall. 

“You can’t be serious,” she finally blurted out, because it was simply too absurd.

 Professor McGonagall clucked her tongue in distaste at her insubordination, but Dumbledore just smiled happily, “I try very hard not to be, Miss Granger. I do think that including Muggle Halloween traditions will be great fun for all students.” 

 Hermione did her best not to scowl, “Yes, Headmaster, I agree…but requiring me to participate in a couples fancy dress contest Draco Malfoy, of all people, is…well I just don’t think I can do it, Sir.”

McGonagall sat up a little bit more, looking surprised, “Hermione Granger backing down from a challenge? I never thought I would see the day.”

She frowned at her professor, “I know what your doing, Ma’am, and with respect, I also know that official school code 16b, sub-clause 4, specifies that no students shall be forced to participate in classes or extra-curricular activities which expose them to any physical, verbal, or psychological abuses.” 

As she spoke, Hermione watched as both adults’ eyebrows slowly raised, and then the Headmaster smiled at her with a dangerous twinkle in his eye, “Well stated, Miss Granger; though, I trust you also remember section 5a of the Prefect’s handbook?”

Hermione’s face fell and she nodded reluctantly, “Prefects are expected to work to extend their hands in friendship among the Houses and set a good example for all younger students.”

Dumbledore nodded in agreement, and then raised his finger as he winked at her, “Now, in addition to appealing to your good judgment, I am not above bribery!” The Headmaster reached under his desk and pulled out a large gray plastic box and set it on his desk. 

Hermione’s breath caught in her throat, “Is…is that a Powerbook 3400c?”

The Headmaster’s smile grew, “You know your laptops well. This is indeed a Powerbook 3400c, Miss Granger, and this one is quite special, because this laptop is going to be used to transcribe our entire library of books into a digital database.”

She thought she might faint, “You…you want to…?”

Dumbledore was positively gleeful as he leaned forward over his desk, “Do I want to create a fully searchable database so that a new generation of students have hundreds of years of magical knowledge at their fingertips? And perhaps even students at international schools can search for information across multiple databases? And do I need the assistance of a methodical, diligent, and forward thinking student to spear head this project and even have this database named after _her_? Yes, yes Miss Granger, I believe I do.”

 Hermione made an embarrassing noise, blushing a little in excitement at the carrot being dangled in front of her, fingers itching to snap up the precious laptop and barricade herself in the library for the next six months. “And… all I have to do is participate in a costume contest with Draco Malfoy?”

“Indeed!” Curse that twinkle in his eye. “Do we have a deal?” The Headmaster held out his hand and Hermione nearly leapt out of her chair to shake it.

“Yes! Yes, we do!” She grabbed up the precious laptop greedily, grinning widely, “I’ll, I’ll go find Draco now!” Hermione started heading for the door, nearly tripping on the edge of the carpet in excitement. “You can count on me, Headmaster!”

Once she was gone, McGonagall looked over to Dumbledore with a slight half smile, “She forgot the power cable.”

The Headmaster looked far too pleased with himself, “I’ll have it sent to her room.”

 

* * *

 

It took a little searching to locate where the Slytherin Prefect was currently holed up. Hermione covered the courtyards, the lake, the Great Hall, the Library, and even the Greenhouses before finally admitting to herself that she would have to visit the Slytherin common room.

Still holding her prize, clutched to her chest, Hermione took a deep breath and walked down into the quiet stagnant hallways down through the dungeons. Several Slytherin students narrowed their eyes at her as she passed them through the dingy halls, and Hermione plucked her courage and lifted her chin. Prefects were permitted to walk wherever needed, and she had a perfectly valid reason to come down here.

 Approaching the apparently blank wall, Hermione frowned, trying to recall which was the hidden brick this week. There were footsteps behind her, and she looked back to see her classmate, Blaise Zambini, walking primly towards her.

“Granger? Didn’t expect to see you down here,” her classmate said archly, tossing her delicate braids back over her shoulder with a flick of her wrist. “Something wrong?”

Blaise was graceful and elegant in a way that always made Hermione feel as though her hair got frizzier just by being close to her, but the Slytherin was never anything less than perfectly polite, which made it difficult to hate her as much as others. Still…she was nearly impossible to get a read on.

“Um,” Hermione hesitated a moment, “Oh, oh, no. I’m just looking for Draco. The Headmaster has requested we work on a group project together for this year’s Halloween party.”

The other girl regarded her for a moment then nodded slightly, “Of course.” She stepped up and delicately touched one of the stones; the wall slid away slightly, allowing them both to step into the luxurious common room.

“Oh, uh, thank you,” Hermione said as she followed Blaise in. 

“Happy to help, Granger,” she answered with a faint smile, then gestured to a smaller door along the southern wall, “When I saw him earlier, he mentioned spending the day studying in his private office.”

 That brought Hermione up short, “Your prefects have private offices?!”

 Blaise quirked an eyebrow at her, “Don’t you?” Then she swept away deeper into the common room, leaving Hermione standing awkwardly alone in the unfamiliar room.

 She looked at the door again, reminding herself why she was doing this. “International magical databases,” she murmured to herself as she walked, “Open access for all students…”

 Hermione paused at the door and blinked in confusion; she could hear…voices through the door. For a moment, she wondered if Draco were speaking to someone via Floo, until she heard an unmistakable voice say “Dammit Jim! I’m a doctor…” And then Hermione was pushing the door open and stepping in without really thinking about it.

 “Ex _cuse_ me,” Draco’s voice was twisting with offense as he turned around and then paled as he saw who it was who walked in. “What are you doing here?!” he hissed, diving for the television remote while Hermione watched Captain James T Kirk get buried in tribbles to her growing delight. Draco finally got the telly off and then tried to smooth his robes and hair in an attempt to look dignified. “Granger. You saw _nothing_.”

 Hermione was grinning so hard her cheeks hurt. This. This was better than Christmas Morning. It _might_ even be a little better than getting her Hogwarts owl if she was being hyperbolic. Not only did the haughty Draco Malfoy have a guilty muggle pleasure, but it was a NERDY one! She could hold this over him for the next decade! He’d never be able to tease her again! She opened her mouth to say as much, and instead what came out was “I love this episode!”

 Draco blinked at her, dumbfounded. “You…you know, Star Trek?” Then he coughed and attempted to sound tough, “I mean, of course a bookworm like _you—_ “

 “AH!” Hermione cut him off quickly, slicing her hand through the air, “Don’t start with me!” Draco looked petulant, but quieted down. “How…how did you even discover it?” she asked, looking around his set up with awe, there was a small combination vcr/television and a box of VHS tapes next to it. Each tape was labeled neatly with episode names and airdates.

 “Professor Sinistra, if you must know,” he told her begrudgingly. “She noticed that I really liked Astronomy, and after…” He shrugged here, “well, after the ban on Muggle goods lifted, she thought I might like them.”

 “Well. For whatever it’s worth,” she began because, curse her parents, she couldn’t bring herself to be cruel to Draco-not over this. Not when she knew how much it hurt to be ridiculed for something you loved. “I like them too, so if you ever want to talk to someone about—“

 “Oh God, stop, stop now” he whined, giving a full body wince, “This is causing me physical pain; what do you want?!”

 “Oh! Oh, yes, well Professor Dumbledore wants to have a more Muggle style Halloween. Which means that there will be a school wide costume contest, and he wants us to spear head it.”

 Draco’s expression grew flatter and flatter as he seemed to realize what she was implying, “You mean we-?”

Hermione nodded, “Yes, we have to create a pair of themed costumes and wear them together at the party.”

 “Bollocks,” he spat the word out in distaste and crossed his arms over his chest, “And I suppose you agreed, did you? Out of school spirit?”

 “Certainly not,” she replied defensively, holding her precious laptop a little tighter reflexively.

 Draco narrowed his eyes and took a half step forward, “What is _that_?”

 Hermione scowled and stepped back, “It’s none of your business is what it is!”

 “Really because it looks like a brand-new laptop!”

 “What if it was?!”

Draco pointed a finger accusingly, “Look, Granger, if there’s kickbacks going around for this team-building farce, then I want in on them!”

There was a suspiciously timed knock on the door, and both students gave each other a look before Draco stepped over and opened the door. A stoic looking house elf stood there holding a box. “Headmaster Dumbledore requested that this be brought to you, Prefect Malfoy, as show of appreciation for your participation in this year’s costume contest.” Then he offered the box up expectantly.

 “Now that’s just _weird_ ,” Malfoy muttered as he took the box, “Uh, thank you, Timsin.” The house elf nodded and turned to leave as Draco closed the door. He made a thoughtful noise as he set the box on the desk, “This better be a laptop as well…” He opened the box and Hermione couldn’t help but step over to peer in as well.

 It was a laptop, with a note on the top, which read:

 

_I’ve taken the liberty of setting up an academic account for you with the Society for Astrothaumatological Study. I’ve heard their forums are quite the hotbed of interesting theories for magical space exploration!_

 

Draco read the note, then glanced over at Hermione with a quirked eyebrow, “You’ve got to give it to the old coot; he knows his audience.”

 Hermione couldn’t help a small laugh and shrug, “Well, it’s true. So…what do you say? Think we can do this?”

Malfoy snorted softly through his nose and stood up to his full height, “Granger, we’re prefects. I think we can _win._ ”

 

* * *

 

The First Annual Fancy Dress Halloween Contest was a huge success, in no small part (everyone agreed), because of how Hermione and Draco publically boasted of their costume entry, and then encouraged all students to make costumes of their own.

 Students would talk for weeks about how Professor Lupin had worn a nearly perfect replica of Tom Baker as Dr Who – complete with an accurate scarf and bag of jelly babies. Hagrid and Dumbledore had teamed up together with a Lord of the Rings theme, with Hagrid sporting a magnificent green beard, and Dumbledore in white and riding on his shoulder. Harry had nearly choked on a chocolate frog when Professor Snape had arrived with Professor Sinistra dressed as Vincent and Mia Wallace from Pulp Fiction.

But it was Draco and Hermione’s costumes that got the most attention from their fellow students. After first deciding to give the contest their all, it was actually pretty obvious that they would have to use Star Trek characters – and then there was a small delay when Hermione absolutely blew Draco’s mind that there was a Star Trek Series still on the air. Then they’d argued about which characters to be. Hermione had secretly begun to suspect that half the reason they argued was because neither would admit to having any shared interests with the other – though she’d never be the first to admit it.

 Finally however, they’d settled on each portraying their favorite captains and began the painstaking work of building their costumes. At least until Draco bribed the House Elves with a collection of P.G. Wodehouse books to help them with the sewing.

 Hermione and Draco entered the party dressed as Captains Janeway and Kirk respectively, making observation notes into their cardboard tricorders about the strange alien rituals that they were observing.

 It was pretty clear afterwards that they would need to create a Star Trek viewing club for all the students curious to see what all the fuss was about.

 And later, after the party, and after much prodding, Hermione confessed to both Harry and Ron that Draco might not be the worst human being currently at Hogwarts.

 Ron proceeded to mime vomiting into a bin for the next two minutes.


End file.
